Noah Today


Wished I could take credit for the following, or give credit to the original author as I merely “Maplized”, that is, made it more relevant to my own community of Maple Valley.  A friend sent it to me and given my previous posting, Community Ark of the Covenant, I thought that I would share as we seem to be in a need of direction, any direction.  The only way to recover economically and democratically has to be pursued at the community level.  I know of no better way than through community cooperation which can be easily organized through a Community Development Co-operative.  The proposed day of reckoning, that is, May 21st, 2011, came and went and once again being proposed for another time.  Regardless, I thought it would be appropriate to create some awareness through levity to the event if only to create a sense of community and provide some direction through this website:

In the year 2011, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Maple Valley, Washington, and said:  “Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.”  “Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.”

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: “You have 6 months to build the  Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.”

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard – but no Ark.  “Noah!,”  He roared, “I’m about to start the rain!  Where is the  Ark?”  “Forgive me, Lord,” begged Noah, “but things have changed.”

“I needed a Building Permit.”

“I’ve been arguing with the City Inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.”

“My neighbors claim that I’ve violated the zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the local Planning Committee for a non-conforming variance and they are still deliberating.”

“Then the local City Council and power company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea.  I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.”

“For the first time I’m getting calls and e-mails, consuming considerable time,  from the City Council looking for photo opportunities.”

“I have Public Works wanting to inspect the Ark for milfoil and ensure that if I intended to float the Ark on Lake Wilderness that it was electric powered and can’t exceed eight miles per hour.”

“The United States Coast Guard routinely inspects for the number of PFDs, personal floatation devices, that we have, and whether or not they conform to their standards.”

“A local boat builder is complaining to the City about unfair business practices and competition by a big boat company.”

“Getting the wood was another problem.  There’s a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl.”  “I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls – but no go!”

“When I started gathering the animals the SPA took me to court.  They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.  They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.”

“The City is wanting to charge me license fees for the animals unless I can prove that they are not pets.”

“Then the Environmental Protection Agency ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.”

“I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crew.”

“Immigration is checking the Visa status of most of the people who want to work.”

“The trades unions say I can’t use my sons.  They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.”

“To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.”

“So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.”

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?”

“No,” said the Lord. ” The Government beat me to it.”

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One Response

  1. Looks like in Dordrecht, Holland there is not the building restrictions as Noah’s Ark has been built to exact proportions: http://www.arkvannoach.com/cms/en

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